One might say I have a bit of an achiever personality. I just love work and studying and studying and work. All of those things. So last fall after decades of dabbling in sun signs and planets, reading Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs when I was a teen, I decided to venture deeper into the ancient science known as Astrology. I registered early and eagerly waited to tune in to my first online class with the Debra Silverman Astrology program. Much to my delight our first lesson was on the elements and we began with counting the planets in each of the four elements. Now I know a thing or two about elements and I can count so we were off to a good start. It was no surprise to learn that I have five planets in fire and most of them in the little pie wedge sign of learning and studying (Sagittarius for you astrophiles)- Off we go. I knew in my heart this was going to be great. We were getting along swimmingly when out of nowhere arrived this ‘lump in the stomach’ sensation when I realized that after so wonderfully burning my candle brightly and employing my 5 fire planets, I had somehow checked my fire at the door of the nearest resort and almost diminished it. Apparently my very practical earth had thrown dirt on top of the blaze pretty consistently. Darn you earth, I mean I love the earth and Dependable is my middle name, I get things done (Capricorn sun) and I am oh so resourceful, so that isn’t going anywhere, but whah. This earth piece is the real me, but so is the powerful energy I get from fire and so is the flowing calm from water and so is the very air I breathe that helps me think, but now I was missing my fire. I had inadvertently short-circuited my fire; I was limping along with only three wheels. (I guarantee you will love reading The Missing Element by Debra Silverman so find it asap if you want to know your missing element.)
For me the giant chill pill I took a few years earlier and so needed, had slowed me down from the person I was; a little bit brash and rather quietly pushy but with a body that was a little banged up, so I put my regular choice of activity into a cupboard and devoted the next year or two to be in a self-prescribed rest and relaxation state. Once upon a time, I was a top two-sport athlete in college, a teacher of hot power yoga and an amateur dabbler in any and every sport over 30 plus years. Just thinking about doing squat thrust burpees, slamming returns in 30 degree weather in the wire cage of the paddle tennis court, accomplishing death-defying arm balances in yoga makes my heart sing. But then I hung up my boot camp stopwatch and let go of my stinky ice hockey gear, and ventured no more rainbow goal kicks on the soccer field or racing in 5 K ‘friendlies’. My body called for some rest or at least a readjustment and I reached for more balance in life, not a bad thing at all and I dove into yoga, first the hot fast kind but then eventually the slow restorative/yin kind with meditation. Now I know I needed this, but I seemed to throw the baby out with the bath water. All that soft feely stuff did restore and heal me. I found my tears and flow again in another way, but I did nothing to keep my fire ignited, in fact I kept it on the down low, literally; my gas flame was set at a low simmer. So shocked I was at learning I lost my fire that when my mentor, guide, guru, Malena the extraordinaire, instructed me to tell jokes to get the pot boiling again or at least to find my funny I agreed. Normally when someone says something so crazy, since no one will ever accuse me of being a stand up comic, I counter with blunt sarcasm, but she was right, I was fizzling. So I did. I told corny joke after corny joke to my yoga students, to my walking buddies, to my family. Mostly I got quizzical looks, but this just made me giggle. The jokes weren’t funny, not even remotely and my delivery non-existent, but the whole situation was hilarious. I was on my way and soon bouncing in life again with unabashed and uncensored joy.
Then came the soul-crushing week. Week 3 to be precise. (Week 2 was just a building of my ego; yeah, I know that about me, oh I am so wonderful kind of feeling.) But week 3, aghast, I know a little dramatic (Leo Rising), but I was enjoying being fun and silly as I was building my fire and energy and laughter so when I learned I needed to harvest and produce some analytical and practical Virgo attributes, gasp, I searched for the joke for alas the gods must be wrong. To be told now add earth with a dose of methodical intensity and a dash of details (Virgo, Capricorn and Taurus are all earth signs), how could I without dousing my fire? I’m not sure I was going to like my unique recipe anymore. Now, I can count, but everyone will tell you I never knew the score in a lacrosse game I was playing because it was always about being in the moment of the big picture. Someone else can do the pesky detail and keep score. I know if I am winning or losing and that is all I need to know. So how was I ever going to painstakingly scrutinize information? Instead I called on my fire and protested vigorously; take note I was getting very good at that fire lesson.
The suggestion was to record a daily diary of the foods I ate. I can’t think of anything more tedious, ok maybe painting walls and watching paint dry or writing those note cards in high school to prepare for the outline- ugh, just let me write the paper for gosh sake! I felt like the 5 year old being dragged from the park to wash up for dinner. But you can’t make this stuff up and before I knew it, I had overheard two different people talking about elimination diets and suddenly I knew maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea. After all I really couldn’t put my finger on why I was having some body aches or why I couldn’t kick those last 5-10 pounds. So I did it and I did it for months and even over Thanksgiving! I learned there was a rascal in the midst and while it had been a foodie fave of mine, letting it go in favor of eliminating those pesky aches was worth it and those ten pounds lost were just a bonus on top of it all. The hero of that story was my north node in Virgo! Who knew how helpful this would be to me? Apparently the universe did.
Drum roll as we hit week 4 and the planet Saturn. Like the child who had to write, “I am sorry I bit Sally” 500 times on the blackboard, I needed to hear ‘Saturn is my dear friend’ this many times too. Saturn, the planet of limitation and discipline in my natal chart is stuck to my sun for my WHOLE life! And I am in a Saturn return, so I knew Saturn was going to be impactful and an important planet in my life and so with eyes closed I braced for the blow. After buying nearly every Saturn book on the market and reading every blog- scary as they were, I learned I am doing ok with my little friend who sits next to me all day and all night. He keeps me on the straight and narrow and as long as I am doing my purpose, which is being my own leader, Saturn is not going to reign fury. When I divert, default, get anxious, eat the extra piece of cake, he gives me the eye that says I am watching you, but I never stray too far. Nothing inspires me more than climbing a mountain, literally, or at least a hill these days. And so, I have too much to do and many mountains to climb to let time waste away (My sun sign is Capricorn and it’s the goat, and goats climb mountains, get it?). Life is fun with Saturn as my friend. After all, this Saturn return led me to look for Astrology and I am having the time of my life. My head is in the clouds, I am seeing a magnificent sunrise and my heart is beating with joy on this mountain.
You too can find your magic and learn to love you. Finding someone to help interpret your astrological chart can be a game changer. Email me if you would like a reading. And absolutely jump on the Astrology train with the Debra Silverman Astrology school right now or check out the list of certified astrologers on her website. Maybe you will see my name there soon. It’s currently on my mountain climb!